Traumatic but not Tragic

During my College experience, I was privileged to briefly date a soldier, who was stationed in Denver my senior year at Loretto Heights College.  I met him at a time in my life when I was looking forward to controlling my own finances and exiting academia.  Graduation and my BA Degree were just months away.  I was ready to spread my wings and experience life but not ready to settle down, which is what eventually caused our relationship to fail.

He was in Denver, receiving medical treatment for injuries incurred during his tour in Vietnam.  He was stationed at Fitzsimons General Army Hospital; however initially, he just told me that he was assigned to Fitzsimons, so I did not realize that he had been injured and was recovering under Doctors’ care.  I never thought to ask about his assignment when he introduced himself and asked me to dance.  He was very tall, thin, with light brown shiny hair that bordered his brows, which was so handsome and hip for a soldier.  I just didn’t connect the dots!  I was too busy judging him for his brains and sense of humor, in other words, trying to eliminate a possible psycho, that I didn’t think about the obvious.  He was a patient, but not in the psych ward!  Fitzsimons General Army Hospital was the premier hospital for soldiers seriously injured in Vietnam.  I was clueless that first night and we just relaxed and had a good time.  His friends were also fun and good natured and danced every opportunity.

We met at a Denver Club that featured a great dance floor and had introduced “Ladies Night” which meant no admission charge and drinks half price for me.  I was more interested in meeting guys and dancing “my ass off” than drinking at the time!  I remember I went to the club with several other Loretto Lovelies for the manhunt.  For some reason, the evening started out sluggish with most of the guys hanging out by the bar and the Loretto Lovelies and other young women sat patiently around tables while plotting their line of defense or surrender, if you know what I mean.  I have to give him credit, he came over smiled, and introduced himself, and asked me to dance, without caring about the empty dance floor. I remember turning bright red embarrassed that such a together guy had chosen me to approach first!  I loved to dance and I never turned anyone down, unless they were drunk but he didn’t know it at the time.  Once we broke the ice, the other guys came out of the woodwork and the place came alive.  He was a good fast dancer, a soft spoken gentle southerner, who also danced slowly with grace and style.  We danced and danced and when the band took a break we talked and talked about family and hometowns etc.  It was a genuine relaxing evening.  No pressure and no guess work.  By the end of the evening, he asked if I would consider a date for a movie and dinner.  I gave him my number and we went out the next weekend following a couple of calls where we continued to learn more about each other.

He wanted to see the movie MASH which had just premiered and I didn’t object since it was previewed with high ratings.  The similarity of the Korean and the Vietnam Wars were not lost on the college girl or the soldier.  When we exited the car, he told me that we had to walk about a city block  to the theater.  It was a cold and clear night so the walk was invigorating and the conversation easy, when I noticed that he was limping and I asked him if he was okay.  Then I notice that he had a brace that went down the side of his shoe and underneath the sole by his heal.  I asked him if he danced with the brace on the other night, because I couldn’t believe that I had missed the obvious.  He laughed, smiled and assured me that I did indeed miss the obvious.  He told me he thought that I was the most polite young woman he had ever met and then we both laughed when I told him that I wasn’t that good, just distracted by his good looks and good dancing!  We arrived at the movie and as we entered, he said he would explain everything at dinner.  I was fine with that but you can’t imagine how nervous I was during MASH and how sensitive I was to this soldier and his possible reaction to this emotional movie.  The audience was predominently guys with buzz cuts, so soldiers were everywhere.  The laughter was contagious and the spontaneous applause at the end of the movie left me speechless and fighting back the tears.  When we walked out of the movie, he asked me if the brace had made me quiet.  I turned and said it was the movie and all of the emotions I observed during the film and how I had watched him like a hawk and loved how he was so lost in laughter.

This guy was a gem.  He asked me what food I missed from home and at the time my answer was breakfast for dinner which would be pancakes.  There were limited options for this college student with no car living on a campus in the southwest corner of Denver.  Public transportation was great from campus to downtown and other sections but I had never seen or been taken to the equivalent of an Ihop which was International House of Pancakes at that time.  He had the car and he took the time to take me for pancakes.  They tasted like pieces of heaven and he was immediately my candidate for sainthood.  Talk about being a great date!

While we feasted on pancakes and tried every syrup, he told me about his injuries and showed me why he was at Fitzsimons.   The story was absolutely unbelieveable!  He was in the infantry.  He volunteered for a dangerous assignment.  He found a booby trap (IED) with his foot.  The blast went up his foot and leg, then his forearm, and finally his head above his right eye (bangs and the hair style hid the scars).  The brace helped him regain strength and muscle in his leg.  His arm was scarred but in amazing shape covered by long sleeves.  His forehead was dented because they removed part of his scull and saved his life.  His forehead made me nervous for him, (like a baby’s soft spot) but there were no visible scars, so it was not shocking or ugly or frightening.  He was at Fizsimons recovering from surgeries and going through physical therepy.  The next major surgery would be to put a plate in his forhead to replace the substantial piece of scull blown apart a removed by the MASH surgical units while trying to save his leg, arm, brain; in other words, his life.  He saved the best for last.  He didn’t know it at the time, but he voluteered on April Fool’s Day!  When he woke up and started his recovery the Doctors couldn’t resist showing him the date of his injuries.  I am not kidding!  We were both laughing during his story, and because it was true, the telling of the story made us both laugh more hysterically considering his stupidity and my astonishment!  He was such a mature spirit that I knew I would not be the only person to miss his disability? What disability?

There were other dates where we went to the foothills to enjoy the scenery.  We visited a beautiful city park and I did go to Fitzsimons to meet some of his buddies who were recovering in various stages.  Our time together was always interesting, fun and a form of freedom for both of us.  I escaped from the books and papers and he from the stress of being a wounded and recovering soldier.

Before we parted ways, he took me to an all night drive-in with horror films as the theme.  That car was stocked with pillows for comfort, soda and snacks.  I think we lasted until about 3 AM before we got our money’s worth of screams, fake blood and bad music.  That evening was relaxing and controlled, with soft sweet kissing between the munchies and the bathroom breaks.  He was absolutely the most patient man I ever knew! I know he recognised that I was very determined to keep control.  He really cared for me and I for him.  The timing was all off!  He needed to get back to his home and family and I needed time to mature with or without family.  Vietnam matured him like so many others at that time.  I recognized it before he did.  I truly trust in God that he eventually married the girl of his dreams, created the family he richly deserved, and lives the life of success and peace he so valiantly earned.